02 May 2010

Maximiser or Satisfiser

In the book I just finished reading, The Happiness Project, Rubin (see link in sidebar) gives definition to a personality trait which she then puts on a continuum.  The end points of the continuum are The Maximiser and The Satisfiser. 

Jeff is the Maximiser without hope.  I am the Satisfiser embodied.  Jane is a hopeless Maximiser.  Bjorn is a more balanced Satisfiser.  Ann is a Maximiser in denial, I guess.  Which are you?

What is this trait???

The Maximiser-makes the optimal decision.  Even if they see "one" that meets the requirements, they can't make a decision until after they've examined every option so they can make the best choice possible.

To illustrate in the extreme:  The Maximiser wants to go out to eat.  Eatery A looks good.  Yes, but what else is there.  Eatery B could be interesting.  Yes, but what else is there.  Eatery C comes recommended.  Yes, but...iterate a few more times and then.  "Let's go to Eatery B."

Sound like anyone you know?

The Satisfiser-makes a decision or takes action once their criteria are met.  As they find "it" that has the qualities they want, they're satisfied.

Again, to illustrate in the extreme: The Satisfiser wants to buy a new car.  She establishes her requirements (eco friendly, reliable, not too many miles, reasonable price).  She goes to Car Place A.  No car that meets all the requirements.  Car Place B.  Finds car that meets all the requirements.  Buys car.  No need to look any further.

Recognize anyone?

Most people fit someplace in between the extreme ends of the continuum.  Happens to be that Jeff and I define the extremes.  Imagine the two of us trying to make a decision together?

During this trip, the only times that we have snapped at each other is when we waited too long to start looking for a place to eat.  Blood sugar levels had dropped precipitously.  Jeff wanted to look at "just a few more menus" and I saw a place 5 blocks ago that looked fine and wasn't too expensive and couldn't figure out the need to keep looking.  Didn't he understand how hungry and grouchy I was?

At first I thought that there was some invisible, secret formula that Jeff used for finding a place to eat, and I just didn't know what it was.  How could it be that this place was okay, and that place was okay, but neither one was okay to eat at?  So imagine the "aha!" moment reading the definitions of Maximiser and Satisfiser.  I knew I had found the answer to my question.  An opportunity to eat good food is too precious in Jeff's world to waste on the wrong decision about where to eat.  He needed to evaluate as many places as possible before deciding.

At least now I understand that he has a need to look at ALL the options before deciding.  We try to compensate for our mismatched buying traits by first of all, being aware of them, and secondly, I usually recuse myself from the restaurant decision making process, but we sometimes forget...and then people give us wide berth on the sidewalk.  I am beginning to understand why Jeff can be so amazed by my credo  of "Leap and the Net will Appear."  (Thanks, Lib, for the card you sent to B with those words of wisdom on it.  It is framed in our house!).  It is just as foreign to Jeff as his approach is to me!

And on good days, each of secretly wishes that we were just a little more like the other, and feel gratitude that we offer balance to each other.

Blue skies!

5 comments:

  1. And isn't the key to what we all are trying to find is just that---balance!

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  2. JEFF IS IN THE BLOOD LINE OF UNCLE BUDDY.

    LOVE, UNCLE BUDDY

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  3. Thanks, Buddy! Good to know! (: ^ )

    and YES! to Anonymous- balance is the key and the goal!!

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  4. Susan,
    Thanks for your perspective on this scale. I was told (and it seemed to fit) that I was a Satifiser with regard to what level of income I was comfortable with (don't need millions but enough to enjoy life). With the economy and my business down dramatically for the past 3 years, I (and even more so my wife ;o) find my inertia to work on building it up painful. So, even though we are not happy with my level of contribution to our couple budget, Maybe my Satisfiser personality won't shift gears until crisis is involved.

    But I am a MAJOR Maximiser when is comes to needing to root out all conceivable contingencies to make "the best" decision. My mind knows this does not make logical sense. Conundrum...

    I guess I better get Ruben's book for further insight. Did you, or more to my situation, was Jeff able to shift any once understanding the dynamic?

    Peace,
    Dave
    PS. After 2 1/2 yrs, I may just be speaking to the infinite here, which is OK too. ;o)

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  5. You are not speaking to the infinite, and so glad for the opportunity to revisit this posting. Thank you!

    For Jeff and me it has been the case that understanding the other's thought process was the first step. Then learning to see the benefits of the other approach, and lastly learning to find a place in the middle that was true to each of our personalities, but that tried to incorporate the best of both.

    Neither of us is perfectly balanced (yet), but I think that we are no longer defining the extremes either.

    Blue Skies!
    Susan

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